it wasn’t a lie when i said it.
i -had- pushed him out of my head when i said it.
i’m still trying to push him out
idk what my deal is
i keep foolishly hoping maybe someday he’ll see something in me
that maybe in two years, i’ll be that girl he’s been praying for
i’m such an idiot
why do i keep revisiting these pointless feelings
he doesn’t think anything of me
all i am is an average girl with a pretty voice, i’m not holier than everyone, i’m a total nerd, and i piss him off on a regular basis- always late and annoying when i dont even mean to be, i’m just a troublemaker to him.
noelia thinks we’d be bad together
jack thinks we’d be great together
miriam thought my crush on him was just like every other girl’s crush
i’m not just any girl
i’m some kind of ethereal creature born with music and art and words and history in her veins
i inhale the past and exhale God’s message of hope to the world
i’m a poet, an artist, a rockstar, a nerd, a sinner, a saint
i’m stained with the blood of rebellion, the sweat of persistance, the tears of a thousand disappointments but i never stop moving
i want to own the world
carry a piece of every country underneath my shoes